Your Story, Marlowe

5:03am  /  7 pounds 11 ounces  /  19.5 inches

Marlowe,

I want you to always know that from the day we knew you existed, so teeny tiny in my tummy, we loved you. When you did arrive it felt like "finally. she's here in body and in spirit". We had a place for you and you belonged. The moment I saw your face will be etched into my mind and heart forever and those first moments just you, me and your dad will be one of my most cherished life experiences.

We arrived at the hospital around 11pm on Wednesday, the 24th. We had just said goodbye to your sister, Norah, for the last time as our only daughter (and for her first sleepover!). I couldn't seem to stop thinking how very soon everything would be different. The car ride to the hospital felt so long. I don't even remember what your Dad and I talked about but we were very talkative. Nerves, I guess. We waited so long to meet you and the time was near.

I was 6cm dilated and 90% effaced upon my arrival. I was having contractions according to their machine, but wasn't feeling them. I had them break my water. Within minutes I was having full blown painful contractions. Your Dad and I walked the halls, v e r y   s l o w l y.  No longer able to walk, we headed back to the room and I spent the next three hours on the birthing ball. Each time I contracted, your Dad would push on my back or my knees trying to help me relieve some of the pain and pressure. I tried my hardest to realize each surge of pain was bringing you closer to us. I was shivering and shaking uncontrollably since my water had been broken. I decided a hot shower might help. Standing in the shower with nothing to hold onto was miserable. So, I got dressed and headed back to the bed and asked for an epidural. I was tired, I couldn't stop shaking and I was nauseous. After receiving the epidural, I wanted to sleep but wasn't able to because of the pressure. I laid there for maybe 30 minutes before I felt the sudden urge to throw up. So I did. And I knew exactly what that meant. I did the same thing minutes before delivering your older sister. I had the nurse check me and we were ready to go. The doctor came in and with one push I watched your head move further down. I stopped watching the mirror after that first push because I wanted to focus. I sat myself up high enough to watch you enter the world. Two more pushes and your head was out and you cried. One more push and you were in my hands. You were perfect. You immediately calmed when you were placed on my chest. I can't even describe the overwhelming love we felt for you and for God blessing us with you. My heart felt like it was swelling out of my chest. 

Later the day you were born, Norah and you met for the first time in this earthly life. I imagine you knew each other before you were both sent here. Norah was so amazed and happy that you came out of my tummy. She held you and looked at you very closely. Then, decided you were too heavy and she couldn't hold you any longer. I can't wait to watch you two grow together. 

When I was pregnant with you I had a vivid dream about your birth. In a portion of the dream I told your Dad the name we chose for you wasn't the right name and that your name was to start with an M. At the time of the dream we were certain we would name you Goldie. Days before your birth we chose the name Margot and thought that must be it. Once you were born Margot didn't seem to fit after all. Your soul was soft and calm and your name need to match it. We chose Marlowe Ivory for you and we think it fits just perfectly.

 You already have brought so much joy and happiness into our lives. We were made for you and you were made for us. 

Love, your Mama.